Gie’s Peace is a Mindful Parenting approach for real life busy parents. It’s not an approach for those who have 5 spare hours a day to climb to the top of a lovely scenic hill and meditate for hours then return to kids who always do as they are asked 1st time, are always respectful, and who sit together having deep & meaningful conversations about how to make the world a better place.
Gie’s Peace is for busy parents, real parents, parents who manage busy households, often holding down a job outside the home as well, who are usually trying desperately to please everyone in the house and keep everyone happy. Gie’s Peace is for parents who often “lose the plot” who swear that they’ll never scream & shout at the kids to do what they are told, but end up doing exactly that. Then feeling like shit when everyone goes to their own rooms, shut the doors and stew about how unfair the others are.
I’ve been exactly there … that place where emotions run high and reactions come quick, with little thinking or pausing. Where we are easily triggered by kid’s behaviours and where our responses often don’t even come from something the kids have done, but from something else that happened, maybe at work, or after someone else upset us. what happens is, you return home and see that your teenager has left plates, cups, generic mess after making herself something to eat and you just explode. The argument ensues like a point scoring game with both parties getting higher and higher and more upset and more upset, until someone eventually goes to their room slamming a door behind them (usually them) and someone ends up in anger fuelled tears, feeling like they have failed at this game (usually us). I can look back on a really difficult time (several years of this being at best, a daily occurrence and at worse several times a day) like Groundhog Day.
I remember trying to convince, bribe, nag my daughter to clear up the kitchen for me coming home from work. When I came back and it wasn’t done, or worse still (I’m ashamed to say) if it wasn’t done well enough (you know what I mean here) I’d go off like a rocket and all the stress and shit of the day would be directed at my teenager. I can’t remember if I knew that it wasn’t her shit, that it was infact my shit at the time but I certainly didn’t realise it in time to stop me offloading my pent up stress and crap on one of the people I loved most in this world!
During these difficult days there was 2 things I failed to realise:
1. That it won’t last forever, they will eventually grow up & leave home!
2. There is another way.
That “other way” is Mindful Parenting. It helped me to become a person that I liked a lot better, and helped me be a mum that enjoyed and even looked forward to spending time with her kids!
In a nutshell…. Mindfulness happened, it helped me to put a pause between my kid’s behaviour, and my reaction to it. I know what you’re thinking here. Wait a minute, I’m looking for my kids to actually stop doing the things that annoy me, for them to be more respectful and here you’re saying that it’s all about me learning to pause.
What I’m saying is, if you learn what triggers you, what really sets you off, you can be prepared for it, you can feel it coming, and can see how your emotions make you react in the heat of the moment, then you can learn to put a pause between the behaviours and your reaction. You can learn to take a step back and give yourself that one moment (just long enough to find your calm) then, once you’ve found that calm, you can keep your calm when you need to and finally you can share that calm with your kids. It works!!
You will see yourself being able to “respond” to their behaviours, in a calm way, without going full tonto into yet another argument.
If you want to learn how to not “lose it” so often and learn how to “feel” it coming on, to notice it, and to take charge of the emotion before the emotion takes charge of you, then get yourself a space on our 1 day workshop and become a person you like allot better, who knows… you might even find yourself enjoying the time you spend with your kids… I kid you not!